


The Need

by beautiful_bela



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Abuse, Companions, Dark Brotherhood - Freeform, Dovahkiin - Freeform, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Thiefs Guild, cursing, refinding her old self
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 00:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18419135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful_bela/pseuds/beautiful_bela
Summary: Viktoria the Wanderer is know all through out Skyrim for her travels. She is Dovahkiin, Listener of The Dark Brotherhood, and leader of the Thieves Guild. One day she walks through Solitude and sees Octieve San begging for anyone to help. She helps him get away from the alcohol for a couple months and they fall in love and get married. he starts to drink again and start beating her of and on during a year and half. After one in perticular beating though she makes her decide to run away from the abusive realtionship. she goes to Whiterun where she runs into one of the Companions litterally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a loved one](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=a+loved+one).



> Please leave me some feed back after reading I would like to know what to improve. I am at a writers block right now and need some inspiration for this story so if you feel the need to reply then then thank you.

**_Chapter 1: Building Up the Courage_ **

The pain radiated from my head making it the only thing that I could think of. I, Vicktoria was on the ground cowering in the corner from the looming figure above me. All I could do was look away and get ready for what was about what pain was to come. My husband starts kicking my stomach and in his drunken state was sloopy. He makes me crys out in pain when he hits a sore spot from the last time he had done this.

“I told you to brings me a gods damn drink!” he yells slurring his words slightly.

Hours earlier I had refused for the sake of needing to save septims only to find an enraged husband. I covers my face and silently cry as he continues his abuse. Then Octieve grabs me by the neck and pins me to the wall agressivly earning a cry. I starts to fight againist my attacker kicking my legs out. Why did I ever fall for this man? I had only went to Solitude months ago and found him ashamed about his drinking. I had helped him get away from the mug for a couple weeks and we got married, but later he got worst. While I was out at the market or trying to get some coin he would get drunk as hell and I would come home to his mess. Black spots were spawning at the edge of my vision while my body weakens from the lack of air. Octieve lets me go with a grunt and walks away with a stagger in his step. I falls to the ground thankful that his beating was over with but I stay in that spot for the sake of not wanting to catch his attention. He clambers up the stairs holding onto the wooden railing for support heading up to our room with a grumble. He would most likely fall on the bed and sleep until mid-day and would leave me alone. I gets up quietly wincing making me hold my stomach and head up as well. My dress was torn and stained from the bottom of the sleeping man’s boots. I open a nearby chest on the left side of me and bring out another garment of clothing. When I look down to the bottom of the chest to see my old  light armor poking out. Extreme sorrow comes over me remebering my days before. Viktoria was well known name through out all the capitals from my travels and helping anyone who needed it. I also knew how to fight and had a passion for it a life time ago when I used to fully fill the armor. Now I only carry a dagger at my side and I dont ever leave the gray stone walls of Solitude. An idea comes into my head and without hesitation I gather all the things that I needed. My plan was to get out of this place and recliam my dream and passion. I grab onto a satchel putting whatever I needed in it like: food, 100 septims, and potions for healing. I fly down the stairs and out the door not bothering to leave a note for Octieve-San, he was the biggest mistake that I ever made in my life. I walk down the cobbles calmly towards the wooden gates ahead of me. Children were laughing while playing one of there many games chasing each other like there life depened on it. When I get to the gate I stop a wave of self doubt going through me like a wave. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t do this.’ I thought. ‘I cant leave poor Octieve all alone.’ but I quickly shake my head at the thought and step forwad opening the mighty door and out to Skyrim.

 


	2. Out In The Air

**_Chapter 2: Out In the Air_ **

I had hired a carriage to take me to Whiterun with the reasonable amount of coin left in my purse. 

“Have you ever been to Whiterun?” the person guiding the horse asks. 

I jump at his question my head stuck in the clouds. 

“O-oh yes sir I have been there many times.” I stuttered out the words looking down at my hands. 

The coachman looks back at me a brow raised. “I have been running the horse and carriage for years I dont remeber you hiring me. 

I nod my head. “Of course I went on foot you see.” 

“A scrawny thing like you? How did a bear not eat you alive?” 

I laugh nervously at the comment. “Well I was muscular then.” 

“How long ago was it?” 

I think for a moment, it had been so long ago it seemed. “About a year and a half.” 

The coach whistles low. “What happen to you during that time?” 

Instead of telling th whole truth I went simple. “Life happened.” 

~Time Skip~ 

I had made it to the capital city Whiterun and I was more than estatic. I loved everything about the place: the food, people, and smells. I walk to the market in front of The Bannered Mare and inspect some of the ripe fruits and vegtables. 

“These are going best food you are going to find in all of Skyrim m’lady!” the woman explains the quality in depth. Finally I turn away with a bundle of carrots and a dozen appels stuffing them into my bag and not looking where I was going. So I slam into a hard chestplate and fall to the ground to be stopped with strong hands around my arms. 

“Are you okay?” A deep baritone voice comes from the person I ran into. 

I back up quickly at the mans voice cowering the tiniest bit. 

“I-I’m so sorry s-sir. I hope you e-exucse me and my c-clumsiness.” 

My head hurt from where I hit it on his thick chest plate combine with the other nights beating, but all I cared about was not getting punished. 

“No it was my fault and I am sorry for what I have done. Especially to a pretty lady like you.” 

I blush at his statement wringing my hands out. 

“Can I make it up to you? Come to Jorvaskr to have dinner I am sure Thlima will set out another plate.” 

“Oh I dont want to bother you I was ju-.” 

He puts a hand on my shoulder making me stop my rejection. 

“I insist on it, come, maybe Kodlak will like you.” 

My eyes widen at the name, Kodlak was a well respected leader of the Compainions. Well leader as in ginving his advice in certain situations that the whole clan took to there very hearts. 

“If I’m not going to bother.” 

“You wont.” he say leading me away from the stand. “I’m Vilkas by the way.” 

“Viktoria.” I smile softly at him. 

The hand that he has on the small of my back sends jolts of guilty pleasure up my spine. In my head I was thinking that it wasnt right to do this, but I wanted a new life for myself. He leads me to his home and takes me inside to meet his friends or ‘sheild siblings’ as he calls them. When he takes me to see Kodlak Whitemane there is a flutter in my chest causing my hands to sweat. When I behold the older man I cant help but blush when he catches me staring. 

“Hello Kodlak, this is Viktoria she’s going to join us for supper.” 

Kodlak looks me up and down taking in my blue dress and satchel at my side. 

“I think I’ve seen you before…” He starts still staring at me. 

My face heats. “Well it’s been awhile but I made a speech here at Dragons Reech.” 

He nods his head in agreement chuckling. “You seem smaller though a bit out of place.”

I wrap my arms around my waist hugging myself. This was a handsom man I can’t help feeling attracted to. 

“Have you settled anywhere since I haven’t heard of your travels?”

I shake my head lying to him, but it didnt cost me any. I was still too god-damn loyal to that stupid ass man. 

“Vilkas, Kodlak supper is on the table.” Tilma tells them. 

They lead me upstairs and back to the large table pushing in my shair when I sit down. They all talked merrily while we ate talking to me when they had a question. 

“So Viktoria do you think that you can take Farkas in a fight?” Aela asks a smile on her face. I blush at her question looking at the man that looked almost looked just like Vilkas. 

“I-I dont think I could… I am terribly out of shape at the moment.” I answer quietly looking down at my half eaten plate. 

“Well then let me refase that. Could you take on Farkas let’s say 3 years ago?”

I think for a moment. “Maybe it would be a close one.” 

Everyone laughs at my statment making Farkas grin ear to ear. 

“Have you ever thought about getting a blade back in your hand?”

Have I thought about it? Yes I have pondered on it late nights in bed. I haven’t been to any of my favorite places to see family. I was the leader of The Dark Brotherhood,Thieves Guild, and Dovakin but the saw so little of me while I was away and the only way that I know they are doing okay was through letters from Brynjolf and Nazir. I know how did someone like me get caught up in a marriage that made me wither down to a girl that only dreamed of walking outside of Solitude’s boring and glum walls. 

“It would be a long process, but I think I could handle it.” I answer quietly looking off to the side like I could think of nothing else when really all I could think about was my husband. What if I got famous once more and he found out where I was? Would he drag me back by the hair screaming and begging him to spare me. 

“You could stay here and we could get you in shape again.” Kodlak offers giving me a look of sympathy. 

“I’m sorry sir but I dont have any coin to give you.” 

“You dont have to pay any kind of coin.” 

I blush and push a stray hair behind my ear looking at him through my thick eyelashes. 

“I guess I have enough time for it. When do you want to start?” I ask him. 

“We could start early tommorrow morning to nip it in the but.” 

I smile sweetly thanking him for his kindness. 

~Time Skip~

Kodlak lets me stay the night in Jorrvaskr for the sake of getting up and early the next morning to train. He lets me stay in the ‘welps’ room where there was only one extra bed. When I sit down on the bed I hang my satchel on the headrest and lay back looking up at the stone ceiling. I wonder if Octieve even made an effort to find out where I went. Or if he even cared that I was gone and left him everything that I worked for. Well some of it. All of my wealth was divided out all over Skyrim. There was more coin to claim once I returned to my rightfuls spots as leader and Dovakin. Everytime that I here of a dragon I and filled with guilt for weeks wondering why I ddin’t go and help. When I was hit with it the most was when a little girl had been killed because of the dragons mighty Thu’um. I ddin’t leave the room for a week and if I did I was like a zombie. I close my eyes turning onto my side curling up. What would have my life been like if I hadn’t met Octieve? 


	3. 1st Day of Training

**_Chapter 3: 1st Day of Training_ **

When I woke the next morning it was to a cold sweat crawling down my forehead. Everyone was still in bed snoring loudly enough to wake the dead, yet there all of them lay like they were in a coma. I walk out quietly and look up and down the hall finding that the only one that was up was poor Tilma. Tilma was setting up all of the tables with fresh food that was the quality to fit a king. I walk up to her. 

“Excuse me but is there I room that I can change in privately?” I ask her. 

She smiles at me gently. “Of course. I’ll show you my quaters and you can change there.” 

I nod my thanks and fillow her up the stairs to her bedroom. 

**(A/N: there is no such thing of Tilma’s rooms in Skyrim so sorry if I misled anyone.)**

She opens the door for me and lets me inside shutting the door after me. I change quickly getting into a tunic and boots. I had bought this a couple of days ago and decided that I was going to wear it when I was training with Kodlak. The thought of the man made me blush and made my chest flutter with not just butterflys but with every other animal in the world of Skyrim. I exit out of Tilma’s room and return my satchel to the bed that I was given turning the time that I was here. I wait for Kodlak in front of the firey berth reading a book and every now and then staring off into the fire. I jump in surpirse when I feel a hand on my shoulder turning around and taking a step back. 

Kodlak smiles. “Sorry I scared you, I didn’t expect you to be up this early.” 

I smile nervously. “It’s a habit that I cant ever break.” 

“Are you ready for training today?” 

I nod my answer setting the book back where I found it. He leads me out of Jorrvaskr and instructs me to start jogging. We jog all through out the city at least a couple of times before coming back to Jorrvaskr to do more exercise. We barely get through the wamr up before I am feeling queamish. I carry on though they suns rays making beads of sweat form onto my forehead. When we take a short break Kodlak takes off the top part of his tunic and throws it to the side. I look away at the sight of his toned body hoping that he didnt catch me staring. We keep on it until Tilma bascially drags us in to make us eat. I dont eat much while Kodlak scarfs down his plate greedily. When he looks up from his plate and see that I have barly eaten he gets and embarressed look and sets his plate aside. 

“We can have you fitted into some armor later on in the training, but from what I can tell you still know what you are doing.” 

I smile at him. “Then that’s good. I was afriad that I was going to go through that whole process of teaching myself.” 

He smiles back at me and looks back down at his empty plate. His silence makes me nervous causing me to rub my arm and look off to the side. 

“Where did that come from?” Kodlak asks grabbing onto my hands gently lifting up my sleeve. My breath hitches when he reveals the bruises on my arm that were fading but looked bad. Most of the were the shape of hands or just blobs of purple and yellow. I pull my arm away gently rolling the sleeve back down. 

“It’s nothing to worry about.” I assure him. 

“Are you sure? Those looked pretty nasty on that pretty skin of yours.” 

I sigh and rub the back of my neck. “I’m sure Kodlak. Look um…. I need to go to Dragons Reech and talk to the Jarl. I hope you’ll exucse me for a couple of hours.”

I get up without him answering and walk out the door and walk. I dont walk the direction of the Jarl but I go to the outside of the city and simply walk around to clear my head. Octieve could be gentle man when he wasn’t drunk and it was a good quality about him. It’s just I could never bring him away from alcohol for more than a day before he is on it again. If I do anything that he doesn’t like then I was screwed and I was going to get beaten. What would Nazir and Brynjolf think of me now? I was fierce and full of passion when I left them but now I was nothing but a twig that could be blown away by the wind. I blink my eyes rapidly when I feel tears brimming them and trying to spill over. Was I ever going to be good enough to come back? I had thoughts about handing down my leadership to someone else that deserved it but always denied the thought because I always thought that I was going to come back to them. I stop in my tracks when I see a large shadow fly overhead and I mighty battle cry from a dragon above me. Everyone around me pull out the weapons and they were ready to fight if it decided to land. It lands in a distant feild and people go to it fighting with every bit of will in them. I gasp feeling the power within me boil at the attention of a dragon. When it hits the skies again and spots me it speaks out. 

“The Dovahkiin has returned? After many years of never responding? This will be your permant rest One With a Dragon Soul.” 

It swoops down for me its maw open to capture me in its blood soaked teeth. I dodge to the side ducking to avoid the wing. ‘This is your job’ I thought, ‘ You can finally prove to yourself that you can.’ I pull out my steel dagger, like it was going to do much, and run at the dragon. When it was occupied with the others helping I hop on and plant the blade in the back of it’s head earning a cry full of pain. The dragon takes the skies again trying to shake me off. I grunt and hold onto it’s scaley body as much as I could. I open my mouth and let free of the words of a mighty Thu’um. I shout at the dragon causing it to careen towards the earth. When it lands and skids I brace myself as much as I could before falling off myself. I roll a goof couple feet from the dragon my arms and legs splayed out and I was smiling up at the sky. Then the bright lights and whispers come to me no longer a memory. I gasp at the new found adrenaline staggering to my feet looking at what was now left of the dragon. I go over and take my dagger with shaking hands and put it back in it’s sheath. People were around me whispering. 

“She’s back. The Dragon Born is back.” 

There is applause all around me from the gaurds and farmers that helped along. I smile weakly thanking all of them before heading back to Whiterun. When I make it through the first gate Vilkas, Farkas, and Kodlak run to me. 

“Where’s the dragon?” Farkas demands his great sword out and ready. 

When they all see the smile that is on my face the stop their questioning. 

“The dragon is gone.” Is all I say beofre proceeding back into the hold. 

“What do you mean gone?” Vilkas asks me turning me away quickly. 

I give him a look not quiet coming down from my high. My thu’um was at rest now and wasn’t begging to come out like it had hours before. 

“It was taken care of.” I say beofre entering in through the last gates and into Whiterun. People were gathered around looking up at the sky like they could catch a glimpse of the dragon themselves. I walk to my temporary home happily a tired smile on my face. I walk in and go down the stairs the men still following me. I go to my bed and plop down on it and curl up in a ball on my side and close my eyes. 

“If you dont mind.” I tell them. “I would like to nap in peace.” 


	4. The Start of Everything

**_Chapter 4: The Start of Everything_ **

It had been weeks since I started getting behind a blade and I was gaining back all the lost muscle. My husband had not made an aperance of any kind and he was barely in my mind most of the time. The only bruises that were on my on my body were earned through practice and some small quests that I would go on with some of the companions. Kodlak and I were walking outside Whiterun’s walls talking aimlessly about everything and nothing, well not everything. When we turn the corner of a near-by farm house though I hear his laughter rumble through the earth to meet my ears. I stop in my tracks my eyes widening in fear hearing him talk away. 

“Thank the divines for helping my kind sir I will not forget your help.” 

I am gone before Kodlak can undertand what is going on or even think about it. I run back to Jorrvaskr as hard as I can gathering my stuff exiting out the back and climbing up the Skyforge. When I stop and listen is when I hear Kodlak’s voice. 

“Why did she leave if you mind me asking?”

Octieve’s voice comes soon after. “We had an arguement one night and while I was alseep she just left. I just want to find her before she gets harmed.” 

I tone out of there conversation my body shaking and tears running down my face. 

“I was tired of you hurting my so badly. I thought that I was going to do better.” 

I slip over the wall and climb down the rock slowly buying a horse and set out for Dawnstar. The Sactuary was going to the safest place that I could stay at for the time being and Nazir would be more than happy to help me retrain, but it might cost me to answer a couple of his questions to ease his curiosity. When I was a couple days into the journey I was sitting at camp watching the rabbit I caught roast in the fire that a pack of wolves surround me. Of course being a coward my horse runs off while I am trying to get all of the mad dogs off of me. They snarl there drool foaming out of there mouths. We engage into a fight I take down about 2 out of four of them before one gets the guts to go for my middle. There teeth hit home and I scream out in pain before throwing it off of me grinding my teeth. When I finally take care of the damn things I hurriedly take off the top part of my armor and inspect the bite. It was already clotting over nicely but there was a risk because they carry diesseases and it was right over the most vulnerable part of the stomach. I put out the fire and put together the camp leaveing behind the stuff that I didn’t no longer leave. I wasn’t going to rest tonight so I keep on going on foot this time. Now it would take me 2 whole days before I would make it to the snowy town. Soon I am trudging snow that is up to at least my ankles the wind clawing at my face. I fall to the ground in exhaustian letting the snow build up around me. My eyes flutter to a close my breath making the air fog. All I needed to do was rest and I’ll be back on my feet in no time. 

**_> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_ **

_ I was floating in the endless void Lady Nocturnal and Sithis holding me in gentle arms. Was I dead? Why would I be here if I was dead? Voices surround me ones that were so familiar and so hurtful. Then the calmness was gone and was replaced by overwhelming fear and pain. I was on the ground holding onto my side blood leaking through my fingers causing it to pool under me.  _

_ “Your worhtless!” Octieve yells throwing his metal tankard at my face. I dont block it in time so it connects with my head making it snap back. I fall to the floor my eyes going blurry.  _

_ “No wonder why you have no family! Your are so useless I cant even work myself up to fuck you willingly!” _

_ I had a family. The Dark Brotherhood, The Dragon Priests, and The Theives Guild were my family the one to replace the one that had forgotten all about this poor Brenton. He flips me over on my back and he pries my fingers off my stab wound and plunges his own fingers in making sure to stimulate every singel gods-damn nerve in his wake. I whimper and cry out underneath him. I wanted him to go away. I dont love him anymore, but I was still to afriad to leave.  _

**_> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_ **

I jolt awake in someones arms. He smelled like fire and blood his ak’kir outfit scratching up againist my face. I look up to Nazir. He was holding onto my frame while he rode Shadowmere. He looks down at me cautiously. 

“Hello Listner, have a god nap in the snow?” 

I take a shuddering breath whispering my thanks. 

“Oh dont thank me your luckey Babette was out and about when she found you.” 

I look over to see her riding the horse that I had recently purchased. I give her a grateful smile. 

“We’re only a couple miles off from the sanctuary door think you can hold up.” 

I only felt weak and fatiuged really but it would do a great deal to help me. We stop in front of the door and we enter and as soon as I enter through those doors I can hear the Nightmother calling for me but not for a contract. I get out of Nazir’s grip and go to her and fall on my knees bowing my head. 

“I’m sorry Nightmother please forgive me.” 

“It has been long since I’ve heard or seen of you my Listner.” she rasps out for only me to hear. 

“I’m here for the time being Nightmother I hope it can make up for the time being.” 

“It will have to do my child.” 

When her voice fades I come to my feet and turn to Nazir holding my side.

“Has there been any buisness that I should know of?” I question him the thirst for leadership and dominace coming over my veins. 

“Of course my Listner.” He start following me down the stairs and to my chambers. “The Thieves Guild arm going to be here tommorrow afternoon for a meeting.”

Right I forgot that I had set up those to keep the Guild and the Family close for connection purposes.

“We have heard queit the rukus from Whiterun. People are saying that the Dragonborn is out of hiding, because of this people around here have been excited.” 

I give im a look. “There was one dragon, and finally taking it’s soul after years soothed me. Helping the people did.” 

He gives me a nod as I sit down on my bed that felt like it had been empty for years. 

“Why did you leave though? I even heard Jarl Bolgruf wanted to see you.” 

I sigh through my nose taking off my boot and armor revealing the tunic underneath. 

“Right now I am in a very shitty situation so I ran. I promise to tell you more later, but-.” 

I was interupted by one of the innitates running in. 

“I’m sorry to interupt My Listner, but it seems like the Guild is here.” 

I turn to Nazir an exsaperated look on my face. “I thought they weren’t going to come until tommorrow.”

He shrugs with a smile. “Like I said we all got excited to finally hear from you.” 

I get up shooing him out to change into uniform. I change into my Dark Brotherhood shrouded armor that I left here leaving the cowl off. I walk slowly to the now crowded dinning area filled with thieves and killers alike. I sit down at the table with Nazir, Babette, Vex, Brnyolf, and Karliah sitting down aswell.

“I was told that you were coming tommorrow.” I told Brnyolf cocking an eyebrow. 

He gives me a sly smile. “I know lass, but when we heard about Whiterun there could be only one place the you were going to lie low at.” 

I lean back in my chair crossing my arms over my chest eyeing all of them up and down. They haven’t really changed since the last time that I’ve seen them and it was saddening. They were able to hold up what they love but I couldn’t. 

“Do you know what I’ve also heard?” says Ves a serpant smile on her face. “There is a certain someone looking for you. I think it was by the name of Octieve-San?” 

I pale at the name scowling slightly at her. “There is not point in him doing so.” 

“Well he said that he is looking for his wife. Did you get to tired of being a little trophy?” She cackles. 

I snarl at her making her stop in her tracks and causing the whole room to glue their eyes to me. 

“When I married that man I thought I was going to make him better. You wouldn’t know a real relationship is Vex so I would keep that gods-damn mouth shut. I will tell all of you once and once only. That man is to be your enemy, dont kill him, but he is to never know where I am.” 

“For what reason My Listner.” Babette asks innocently. 

“For reasons that I will keep to myself until the time is right.” I tell her and move onto another subject. 

“In the meantime I need to get caught up wit both of you. What were our profits while I was gone and recently.” 


	5. On the Hunt

**_Chapter 5: On the Hunt_ **

It seemed like I was beginning to go back to being my old self, but I still flinch at a raised voice and dont like people touching me. Nazir and I were up in the trees waiting for the days kill. We lougned knowing that we wouldn’t get a catch until later when the sun met the earth, but it was early in the afternoon when we heard the bear trap snap in place and a cry from a male rings out in our ears. I drop down quietly and sneak over hiding behind a tree. When I see the white haired companion I gasp and run over to him pulling down my cowl. 

“Kodlak!” I yell dropping to my knees and open the trap letting his foot fall free. I look up into his green eyes that were full of pain and questioning. 

“Oh what a catch My Listener.” Nazir mumbles. 

“Shut it Nazir go check the other traps I’ll get him to Shadowmere.” 

I help the speechless Kodlak to his feet slinging and arm over my shoulder. 

“What in the gods?” Kodlak mumbles. 

I look at him a small and reassuring smile on my face. “It seems that we both have some explaining to do.” 

I help him onto Shadowmere with a grunt before getting on myself. Before I set off to the scantuary though I turn to Kodlak. 

“I’m sorry but for the safety of my family I need you to put this on.” 

I hand him a exicution hood to put over his head. He eyes me and the ragged fabric. 

“Please Kodlak.” I beg. 

He sighs and puts it on at my words before he warps him arms around my waist. I guide Shadowmere back to the sanctuary and bring Kodlak inside taking his hood off when we enter the door. He looks aroun dofr any trouble that might come heis way. 

“Dont worry. What I say will be done here I dare them to lay a finger on you.” 

 

I lead him down many flights of stairs making him lean againist me more and more to keep the weight off his bleeding ankle. When we enter the master bedroom he looks around the barely lived in space. I hadn’t been here in what seemed like years there was still dust covering some parts of the room. I help him take a place on the bed and get on my knees undoing the straps on his boot. He grunts when I slide it off the pain unavoidable as I do so. I grab onto his heel and set it on my lap grabbing a hankercheif from my pocket and start to clean away all the blood. I lean over to the end table and pull out a drawer plucking a potion from the drawer. I had him the red bottle ordering him to drink when he bottoms up his eyes get droopy and tired. I stand back up again my hands on my hips looking at him with careful eyes. 

“Do you mind explaining things with me?” He asks leaning back on the bad holding his arm over his eyes to block out the candle light. 

I sigh dragging a chair to the side of the bed turning it around and sitting in it backwards. 

“What all do you want to know?” I ask him quietly. 

“Every damn thing.” 

I take a deep breath before I start. “I was traveling through Solitude one day when I ran into my husband. He was drunk and begging for somone to help him. Being the kind person that I am I helped him through it all. He was dry of alcohol for a couple months and I fell in love with him. He was kind and gently and he would allow me to talk to him about anything. He couldn’t handle the temptation anymore and started wasting our coin on the drinks. I stopped leaving him alone at the house for fearing that he would hurt himself.” I grit my teeth at the tears that threaten to spill over. “He beaten me so badly that I was not able to get out of bed for a week, and he didn’t help me at all during that time. I started to get scared of him and when he would raise his voince or fist.” I laugh at myself shaking me head. “The lengendary Dovankin is scared. Eventually he wouldn’t let me leave the city walls and it made me depressed. He wasted all of the coin that I saved up on his habit and he hurt me when he felt like it. I left one night and went to Whiterun, and the rest is history. I bet you wont belive any of that though for the sake of my gender.” 

Kodlak looks at me as I draw my attention to the floor watching the stones like my life depended on it. He lifts my chin gently making me look at him as he examines my face. 

“That where those bruises came from.” he said not saying it as a question. “I dont think you to be a coward either Viktoria and I hope you know that.” 

I shake my head hugging myself tighly whimpering slightly at his words. 

“When he came to Jorrvaskr he seemed like a nice man, but when Farkas commeted on you training he blew a gasket. I’m sorry you had to suffer this way.”

“It’s not your fault though.” I whisper looking at him with tear filled eyes. 

“It sure feels like it.” 

I shake my head getting up to pace around the room my breathing getting heavy. 

“It’s not though Kodlak it’s mine because I could fix him like I could have dine everything else and my heart got caught in my throat.” I ramble waving my hands in the air. 

“Stop.” Kodlak demands. 

“I’m just so rutting useless and naive and got ahead of myself-.” 

Hands appear on my shoulders making me stop my ramble and pacing. Kodlak had gotten up from his spot on the bed to stop me looking at me with a strange look. 

“You are not useless. Octieve is going to pay for what he did you just have to go in front of Elsif and explain your sitation.” he says trying to help me. 

I start to shake. “I cant do that to him.” 

“Yes you can.” 

“What if…” 

He takes a deep breath. “No what if’s Viktoria life is a leap of faith and we all eventually meet the bottom but you’re caught mid-air because of this, and you’ll never have true happines unless you let go.” 


	6. Quick Decisions

**_Chapter 6: Quick Desicions_ **

Kodlak stays at the sanctuary for a couple of days letting his wound heal properly. During those days he would follow me around during the day as I train and make plans. One day him and I were at the table munching on some food talking to each other quietly, but when I hear the Night Mother I stop in my tracks and look towards the upper floor. 

“What the-.” Kodlak asks before getting shushed by Nazir. 

“Come to me My Listner.” Night Mother demands. 

I get out of my seat and go up to her stone timb opening the doors. Kodlak follows me as I stop in front of the Night Mother dropping to my knees holding my palms up to her. 

“Yes Sweet Mother.” 

“Another child has prayed to there mother…” she whispers. “You most speek to the contact and fulfill his wishes.” 

I bow my head. “It shall be done Night Mother.” 

“Go to High Gate Ruins to speak to the contract.”

I get to my feet and without hesitation I go to the Sithis window and pull it to the side, but before I can slip through Kodlak grabs onto my arm. 

“Where are you going?” He asks me searching my face for the answers. 

“I must listen to the Night Mother.” 

Nazir clasps a hand on Kodlaks shoulder and leads him away. 

“If I’m not back within a weeks time…” I look at both of them. “Assume that I need help, and Nazir later today can you lead Kodlak back to Whiterun.”

I slip through the grate and out traveling to the said place restlessly. When I make it to the front though I found that it was a horrible idea. When I enter in hired thugs surround me gripping onto my limbs not letting go of there grip. I twist and scream trying to break there grip causing them to rip my suit. I hear his laugh a second later. 

“I heard rumors about that. My sweet sweet wife you made me run far and wide for you.” he takes a bottle out of his pocket pulling the cork out forcebly. When an orc forces my mouth open his fingers tasting foul on my tounge. I gag as he forces the liquid down my thorat making it tingle it int’s wake. My body starts to feel numb my eyes fluttering to a close. I drop into Octieve’s arms trying to fight him off to. My slaps and punches were weak as he started to carry me bridal style out of the ruins. 

“You are mine Viktoria and I wont let you leave my sight.” 

“Please.” I beg quietly as he bounds up the stairs. 

“Dont think anyone is going to come and get you either. Not a single person but me are going to see the likes of you.” 

Tears run down my face the last thing that I saw was the night sky the moons and stars twinlking like they were waving me goodbye.

~Time Skip~

While traveling back to Solitude he would feed me that liquid to keep me in one place and make sure that I didn’t run. He walks through the gates with me in his arms holding me close tenderly like I was the only thing in the world that he cared about. He walked us through the door shutting it with the bottom of his foot. He walks up the stairs and throws me on the bed making me groan in pain. He gets on top of me pinning my wrist above my head roughly before going for my lips roughly kissing me. When he drags his tounge across my bottom lip I dont open to him clamping my mouth shut. He growls dargging one of his hands down my body and stops at my waist. Then in one fluid move he grips onto my arse harshly making my gasp allowing him to slip his tounge in quickly. He marks the cavern with his salavia thoroughly before breaking the kiss. I pant hard whimpering underneath him. 

“You wont leave me agian. Say ‘I will never leave you Octieve,’.” 

My bottom lips quivers as I open my mouth. “I will never leave you Octieve.” 

“Good girl.” he says prushing his lips againist mine and gets off of me plopping on his side of the bed. He brings me towards him and holds me like a ragdoll his grip making sure that I never left. 

“I love you Viktoria, but you have to be good.” 

I just stare up at the ceiling in defeat my hands at my sides clenched into fists. Would anyone look for me this time or would they assume that I was gone for good this time? I lay there letting him hold onto my his head burried into my neck his deep breathing tickling my spine. I lay there until he gets up and stumbles down the stairs mumbling something about a drink. I sit up in the beg swinging my legs over the side and take a couple of deep breaths to calm my nerves. 

“Viktoria!” Octieve calls for me. 

I walk down the stairs to see him sitting in a chair in front of the fire a tankard in his hand. 

“Make me something to eat you whore.” 

I start to shake at his words as I go over to the cooking pot and start water to boil. 

“What do you want to eat.” I ask quietly looking off to the side. 

He snarls at me. “What did you say.” 

“W-what do yo-u want-t to e-eat.” I stutter shrinking when he gets up and gives me a look promising me pain. 

“Why do you have to ask hm? Did you already forget you stupid girl you spent to many days out with those vagrants and wild rats!” 

He grabs onto my wrist and gets in my face. “You are worthless to me! The only reason that I haven’t killed you is for the sake of not wanting to get caught!”

He snatches the pots top off to reveal the boiling water and stuff my hand in holding it there. I fall to my knees screeching trying to retract my hand from the heat that was boiling my skin. When he releases my hand the skin was pale in color and burned to the bone. I crumple the rest of the ground holding my hand to my chest rocking back and forth. 

“Get off of the floor you filth and get out of my sight.” 

I was going to die this time around and I didn’t want to go down this way.


	7. Unexpected Guest

**_Chapter 7: Unexpected Guests_ **

It was a couple nights later and I was out at the market picking out food for tonights dinner my hand wrapped blocking out the summer air from my burn. When I stuffed the food in my satchel and gave the person the proper coin before heading off to the house quickly. When I open the door though I release a gasp of surprise and then hide it quickly with a smile. Kodlak and Vilkas were sitting beside Octieve at the dinning table. Kodlak turns to me and looks me over quietly. 

“Hello, welcome to our.” I say happily. “I was about to start making dinner would you like to join?”

“If you dont mind dearest we are having a serious conversation it is a given that they are here for dinner.” 

My smile vanishes and I grip onto the satchels straps. I go over to the cooking pot a stew already in progress. I put in the last remaining ingridients and close the pot to allow it to cook longer. I stop what I am doing when I hear my name mentioned. 

“Viktoria can be delousinal she sometimes thinks that stuff that never happened to her has.” 

“Oh really like what?” Vilkas asks quietly.

Octieve raises his mug for me to refill it. “Has she told you about her parents?” 

They both shake their heads no. looking at me when I refill his cup.

“Well she thinks that she witnessed her family being killed.” he shakes his head. “What a queer thing to say

I stop where I was my hands shaking with his bottle of mead sloshing around. My family was killed. I had 2 brothers and a sister all smaller in age. All of them one night were...dead.

“She just wants to be pittied.” 

Then he grabs onto my waist bringing me to his lap. 

“But I love her anyway.” He kisses my cheek taking the mead from my hands. 

I get up quickly excusing myself and rushing over to the pot an embarressed blush on my face. What would Kodlak think of this performance? I laddle the stew into 3 bowls for the men and set it in front of them and step off to the side getting the untensils and cloths. I hand it to each of them before refilling all their tankards. 

“Can you please go start mending my clothes upstairs.” Octieve orders. 

I nod my head and head up the stairs slowly. 

“She doesn’t eat with you?” I hear Vilkas ask.

“She eats ahead of time making her a bit… fat.” he chuckles. 

How come Kodlak wasn’t saying a damn thing? I wasn’t fat in the least bit I didn’t even have the slightest pudge. I sit on the bed not doing as I was told. There was nothing that I needed to do anyways. I sit there and listen to them talk for a couple of hours. Kodlak and Vilkas dont leave until a couple hours after nightfall leaving me to a drunk and singing Octieve. 

“We all heard of your travels!” he belches. “And we heard of your strife, but where is our Dovahkiin who has remained out of sight?” 

I hear him stomping up the stairs. “Oh dearest!” 

I stay where I am scared of angering him. He lays in the bed looking at me with love in his eyes. 

“Hello beautiful.” he whispers he eyes closing. “I’m glad that I have you.” 

When he falls asleep I get up and sneak out of the house going to the Winking Skeever to see if Kodlak and Vilkas were still there. As soon as I opened the door I see them at the counter paying for a room. When they walk towards their paid room I sneak after them and slip through the door. I reach a hand out and grab onto Kodlak’s shoulder. He whips around to me ready to fight. When he sees the look in my eyes his face falls and he stays where he is at. 

“Have you come to save me?” I whisper tears coming down my face.

When he doesn’t answer I take a deep breath controling my shaking limbs. 

“It’s okay…” I tell him. “You dont have to. I was always bound to die bit by bit.”

I smile sadly getting on my tip toes and kissing him on the cheek. I go over to Vilkas and do the same before slipping out to go home. Home is a strange word. That place was never my home in the first place, yet I still called it so. I only felt at home was when I was with my friends laughing and sweating with each other. I open the door and shut it gently going up the stairs and slipping into the warm bed silently crying wishing to be wasted away. When Octieve’s arms wrap around me and brings me closer making me cry more. Why do I keep on thinking of Kodlak? What if it was his fingers that glided down my body not to hurt but to love? I whimper at the thought making Octieve stir slighly. There was something about Kodlak that made me aware of his every move or wanting him to touch me in the smallest ways. Even if it was just a hardy handshake for a good days work. I stay up that whole night listening to the night sounds that slipped through the open window. Every single person wants something to do with themselves, and the gods willed me to be Dovahkiin. A Brenton with a dragon soul and a helpful hand. But why do I keep on coming to a situation like this. I stay up the whole night getting up early to prepare some toast with dried horker meat and snowberry jam. Octieve comes down the starts grumbling rubbing his head of a light ache. He sits down at his spot with his plate in front of him. He eats silently jiggling his foot with a burst of nerves. There was a knock on the door that had both of us jumping. I open it slightly peering at who was beyond. Kodlak and Vilkas had a serious looks on their faces. 

“Good morning you two.” I say looking back a Octieve. 

“Tell them were busy at the moment.” he demands getting up leaving his plate there.

“I’m sorry to say, but my husband is not feeling well and I have a lot of work to do. Maybe we can do this some other time.” 

When Kodlak goes to open his mouth I shut the door a cringe on my face. 

“Why are they fond of you?” Octieve says coming at me quickly. 

I scurry away from him. “I dont know what you are talking about.” 

“Sure as hell you dont.” 

He grabs onto my neck and holds me up againist a wall. I choke on screams and kick out my feet. 

“They cant have you. Just because you whored yourself around doesnt mean shit.” 

I hear him thumbing his dagger out before he drags the cold blade down my chest. 

“You are mine. No one else can have you, and if I cant have you…” 

When he gets to the middle of my stomach he plunges in a sadistic smile on his face. I let out a thu’um unwillingly making him fly across the room furniture following. I fall to the ground air finally returning to my lungs as I hold onto my stomach, blood seeping through my fingers. I choke on my tears as he gets up again to come at me. There is banging on the door and black smoke forming around my vision overriding my senses. Octieve kicks me yelling something that I dont care to listen to. I curl into a ball holding my side my tears mingling with th blood that has pooled under me. Finally the door bursts open and light floods the room making me and the dark spots around my eyes go away. One man tackles Octieve to the ground taking the dagger in the process. The other comes over to me and my bleeding form picking me up in their solid and warm arms. I look up to see the steel like eyes of Kodlak staring at me with a stricken look. I whimper again when another pain from my wound goes through my body making my nerves tingle. Kodlak at the noise sets me down and rips open the front part of my dress to observe the wound. 

“Vilkas this isnt clotting. I’m going to have to make it.” 

“What ever you planning do it quick.” 

Light appears in Kodlak’s hand as he pries my hand from the wound. He start to sing to me in his low rumbly voice as he lowers his hands to touch my wound. My eyes widen and I scream out at the pain. He… he was burning me causing the blood to dry stopping me from bleeding out. When he releases me a gaurd appears behind him. 

“Viktoria the Wanderer your husband has been detained for attempting to murder you. This is a special circumstance where you can divorce your spouse. Do you wish to be released from you vows?” 

I start to shake as Kodlak picks me up. I was not quiet fixed up and good right now. As far as I know I could have internal bleeding, but I choke out my answer pulling out my Ring of Matrimony and throwing it in the fire. 

“Yes.” 

Then everything is a blur after that. I was in one place and another at the same time. It also felt like I was in the arms of Sithis and Nocturnal. I was at peace for once in my life since the first time tha I saw him. 


End file.
